A rapid series of texts that I just sent to Adam.

“Adam. Adam. I need four bulldogs. And minion costumes.

Make this happen for me. I have a need for it. A profound need.

No, but seriously. Four bulldogs. Minion costumes. Make a note. 


As of this writing, there has been no response.

I can only assume that he is currently busy tying little red bows on their collars.