I woke up feeling a little bit better.
I woke up and had the plan of writing here about how everything went down yesterday, how I just broke.
I woke up and I was going to tell you about what my plans are for getting me to start feeling better overall and the steps that I’m going to start taking.
But then I just couldn’t.
Someone said something so nice to me and I just broke all over again.
I want to hole up. I want to cry and cry and cry some more until I wither up. I want to go back to bed and sleep for a decade. I want to eat or not eat and in some way of doing either just fucking feel better.
I don’t want to go to group therapy in a few hours. I am a shrinking violet in social situations and I don’t like opening up to people that I don’t know very intimately and the thought of telling strangers all about me makes me physically uncomfortable.
I have no idea how they expect me to do this.
I have no idea how they expect me to sit there and talk or not talk and be there and hold it together when all I feel like is laying face down on the floor and crying.
I have no idea how I’m going to do this.
I don’t feel well today.