Adam: I am eating Oreos. And dunking them in milk. And it’s the most goddamn delicious thing I’ve eaten all week.
Me: Eww. But then you have soggy Oreos. Gross.
Me: And CHOCOLATE milk. Bleh.
Adam. Wait. WAIT. The fuck? Are you…
Are you saying that chocolate milk is BAD?
I am giving you SUCH A LOOK.
Me: I’m SAYING I don’t really care for it all that much. Never had it growing up. Wasn’t allowed. If I’m gonna drink milk, I’d rather drink MILK.
Adam: Chocolate milk may be one of the best things ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET. I have OPINIONS on this matter.
Me: I can see that! This just means that if we become a Thing, there will be more for YOU, sweetest.
Adam: Uh huh.
Me: Fine. FINE. If we ever become a Thing, I WILL TAKE SIPS FROM YOUR CARTON OF CHOCOLATE MILK.
OUT OF SPITE.
I WILL DO THIS. DON’T THINK THAT I WON’T. I WILL SPITE SIP.
I WILL DRINK UP TO AN EIGHTH OF A CUP. JUST TO BOTHER YOU.
YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.