He was bound to learn the truth about me eventually.

Adam: I am eating Oreos. And dunking them in milk. And it’s the most goddamn delicious thing I’ve eaten all week.

Me: Eww. But then you have soggy Oreos. Gross.

Adam: SACRILEGE.

Me: And CHOCOLATE milk. Bleh.

Adam. Wait. WAIT. The fuck? Are you…

Are you saying that chocolate milk is BAD?

I am giving you SUCH A LOOK.

Me: I’m SAYING I don’t really care for it all that much. Never had it growing up. Wasn’t allowed. If I’m gonna drink milk, I’d rather drink MILK.

Adam: Chocolate milk may be one of the best things ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET. I have OPINIONS on this matter.

Me: I can see that! This just means that if we become a Thing, there will be more for YOU, sweetest.

Adam: Uh huh.

Me: Fine. FINE. If we ever become a Thing, I WILL TAKE SIPS FROM YOUR CARTON OF CHOCOLATE MILK.

OUT OF SPITE.

I WILL DO THIS. DON’T THINK THAT I WON’T. I WILL SPITE SIP.

I WILL DRINK UP TO AN EIGHTH OF A CUP. JUST TO BOTHER YOU.

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.

Adam:…Fair enough.

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